Farm Life

From beaches to Beaudesert 

Whilst in surfers paradise we found a job on Gumtree advertising for someone to work on a small race horse stud farm in a small country town called Beaudesert just an hour inland from the goldcoast. We got In touch with the lady who owned the farm and we landed the job and started a couple days later. The lady that owned the farm worked in surfers paradise so was able to give us a lift back to beaudesert. 

We get a house to live in whilst working on the farm which is about a 30 minute bike ride away from the farm which we have bikes and cycle to and from, high typically Callum has broken his tyres so we are getting lifts in at the moment. The house is awesome and we love surrounded by paddocks with pretty horses all around and a cute little Aussie sheep dog that lives next door called Montana, who I totally adore! 

Average day on the farm 

A day on the farm is always different and there's never a dull day working with some of the crazy little personalities we work with. There's things we have to do each day like feeding the horses morning and evening, feeding the chickens and collecting eggs, feeding budgies and other birds, feeding dogs and cat in the evening, cleaning out the stables and poo picking the paddocks. 

Along side those jobs we do things like Strimming which is called whipper snipping over here (Callum's job) which I find hilarious still, painting fences, weeding, watering plants and veggie patch, washing the dogs, collecting rocks for garden walls, cleaning around the house, taking rubbish out and then the horsey stuff like grooming, washing, hoof picking, lunging and riding the two rideable horses. It works out great as Callum usually does all the handy man stuff like Strimming, fixing fences and stuff and I do the horsey stuff and then we both do all the other bits together. Works out great! 

Bugs. Everything bites 

Oh my god the bloody bugs on the farm drive me barmy. From the minutes you leave the house and jump on the bike to when you're cleaning poo in the heat of the day til you reach the house back door on the ride home, the bugs are all up in your face. I smother myself in bug spray usually getting it in my eyes and mouth and yet thee little sods still sit on my face.  Sometimes they're cool when you sit and watch the ants carry things in their nests but other than that they are awful. Even these tiny winey little ants that get into your socks bite like hell! 

The spider webs catch me out everyday. There's this massive one about two foot wide that I (without fail) walk straight through everyday and it's horrific. I get web all in my hair and in my mouth and up my nose. Not nice atall. But that's really the only down side. Apart from the weather.. When it's really really hot it's so sticky and sometimes unbareable. Until you get that beautiful little breeze.. Ahhh. 

Meet the gang

The chihuahuas - Mr Slim and Lesley Chow 

They are adorable, slim is the little brown one who's just the goofiest cutest little thing who tries to make friends with the horses by almost getting under their feet, runs with his front legs out straight and thinks he's a boxer dog like Diesel. 

The Boxer - Diesel 

Diesel is adorable! I am so in love with this slobbery bouncy runaway pooch. He chills with me in the stables while I clean on a long rope as he likes to explore beaudesert on his own whenever he feels like it and he's off a rope, loves to dance with me and does a great impression of a kangaroo when he's excited. 

The foals -Sven and the unnamed filly 

The mares - Poleaze and Gwen 

These guys are ao cute, Sven is the chestnut (ginger to un-horsey folk) and the unnamed is the brown one with a white star on her head. Sven is a little rebel who likes to escape paddocks and is becoming quite brave with me giving him strokes and scratches considering he hates human contact. The unnamed little beauty looks funny as she has her baby fur still on half her body and she just skips around following her mum. Adorable. 

Poleaze which is the unnamed fillys mum is a first time mum who's quite weary of the babies whereabouts and stands between me and the foal if I get too close to her. Gwen is Svens mum who's been a mum to around 6 foals so she's pretty relaxed with the foal and doesn't care unless there's food involved and then you see her turn into a moody mare! 

The Shetland- Zorro 

Zorro is such a little character with his little fly mask. He follows me around and trots after me if I run Infront of him and loves to roll straight after I've given him a bath. He's got his own cart that he can pull two adults in too! (Once we've fixed it up) 

The yearlings- Tracy, Trudy and Sweetie 

These guys are last years babies and they're not so little anymore! They have a huge field they play in all day and every couple days I go in a play with them and give them a brush to get used to being handled. There's sweetie who's Gwen's baby aswell who's the chestnut ginger one. She's so sweet and gentle and a little nervy sometimes but has such a girl face. Tracy is the brown one without white socks, she's very interested in everything am always comes right up to you and has no sense of space awareness. And then there's Trudy the brown one with socks who is probably the most confident and loves to be the centre of attention when I come in the paddock to give them a brush and scratches.  

The Giant - Raap

This is raap. A 17hh ginger beauty with a baby face. I would say gentle giant but it's not so much the case with this guy.

Loves a lunge, loves being fussed but the second you stop fussing he's trying to eat you. Loves eating lead ropes and poo pickers and has an unhealthy obsession with wheelbarrows (and if he's in a really annoying mood he tips them over, full of poo) 

The new little mare - Piper 

 

Piper is a newby who's only been at the farm a month or so. She's the horse I ride now and then and is really nice to ride and take around the race track. Although she has a couple of personalities.. She's either very chilled and lovely and loves a cuddle and making friends with the yearlings or she's being a typical mare and trying to nip me, push me out the way and rip her head collar off. She usually changes tune after some liquorice. Typical girl turns sweet after her sweet tooth is taken care of. 

There's also a cat called Geoffrey and se chickens and budgies but I don't have photos of those and Lisa and Ben who are the owners who are really nice and chilled :) 

Happy reading :) 

Laurie 

Our second week in the land of Oz.. Surfers Paradise!

From Sydney to Surfers

We arrived in Surfers Paradise after the longest, most un-comfy overnight coach journey from Sydney which took us 16 hours! We pulled up at te coach park which looked quite familiar and we soon were informed that it was Infact the coach park that was filmed in the Inbetweeners 2 movie. We got off the coach and was met by a mini bus that took us to the hostel we were staying at. 

The hostel was simple, chilled, quite small and had a cute little pool with some wacky bean bag seats around it. We chilled on those while we waited to check in at 12pm.. We had no idea there was a time difference from New South Wales to Queensland which was an hour behind because Queensland doesn't have daylight savings and so we ended up checking in at 11am thinking it was 12... The guys behind the desk looked at us funny as we came back to check in like 20 minuets thinking, wow not long to wait like usual but Infact we had turned up the check into our room an hour early but we didn't actually find this out until later on that evening. They probably thought we were abit odd after that. 

Anyway we freshened up and then went for a walk along broad beach to Cavil Avenue where the shops were and did a food shop for the few nights we had booked in at the hostel. 

Hostel life in Surfers Paradise Backpackers Resort 

We were quite lucky with the people we got in our room this time, there was our bunk, then a really nice Brazilian girl called Amanda that we got to know throughout our stay, a guy that was a manager of the hostel and lied there in the room, hugeeee guy who looked quite scary but he was actually really nice, a girl above him who was there a couple nights for a cheerleading competition, and then the weird one... There's always a weird one. Some guy (German I think) who would make the weirdest noises in his sleep and come in a stupid o'clock and forget that the door didn't work and couldn't get back in because he shut the door, meaning I was woken up a few times to let him in as my bed was closest to the door. All in all not a bad bedroom clan! Most of the people stayed the duration we were there but we also ha another weirdo come in the room for a night. Some American guy who was really hairy and had this awful chesty cough and he would yack up his guts all through the night. Was rather gross! He also slept with a book on Star Wars and a pack of batman playing cards. Pretty sure he was single ha. 

Sorting our lives out 

We came to Surfers Paradise because Byron Bay was fully booked up in every hostel because of the schoolies. Schoolies are school graduates that for two weeks they go to places like Bali and the main cities and the goldcoast to party and quickly find their alcohol limits. Considering we had been warned about them, they weren't that bad and it didn't seem as crazy as we thought. 

I also knew that a good friend of mine from back home in Bognor was living in surfers paradise so it made sense to go really. We came to surfers to have enjoy the beaches after being in a busy city and to see if it was a place we would want to live and work for a while. The first few days we were giving out CVs and enjoying afternoons on the beach and deciding if we liked it enough to stay. Our plan changed by the day and we weren't sure when we were going to do our regional work to be able to apply for our second year visa or if we were going to find bar work over Christmas and try and find an appartment somewhere. Whilst handing out numerous CVs in cafés, bars, shops and restaurants we were also on gumtree and wwoofing looking for couple jobs for our farm work. We found a few jobs and got in touch with people and we found a horsey job but the woman was abit off and ended up not messaging back after she received the photographs of me riding that she asked for. The riding I do is usual trail riding and none of this fancy show type riding and I think she freaked a little and didn't message back. Which was a good job because we came across another stud farm horse job which sounded 

perfect and was only an hour away and that's where we are now :) 

How straddling an artificial crocodile ruined my day..

After we bagged the job we had a few days where we could just relax and enjoy ourselves a bit more without having to think about adult stuff. We celebrated the day after we got the job by going to DreamWorld which is Australia's biggest theme park which we went with Amanda, the Brazilian girl that was staying in our hostel room and her friend. There was a big storm that day which actually worked out for us as the park was pretty empty and it wasn't too hot. As well as roller-coasters they also had an animal section where you could pay to cuddle a koala and feed crocodiles and stroke and feed kangaroos. We got some aboriginal body paint too which I got a gecko on my hand and Callum got some tribe journey painting on his arm which really just looked like a few flowers, he looked amusing for the rest of the day. 

The day went from great to me being a massive grump all because of a stupid artificial crocodile... Let me explain.

So me being immiture I see this massive fake crocodile so I decided to straddle it and ride it for a photo. Before hand I had been a on a rapid ride and I got ridiculously wet and I was wearing my favourite new hippy pants and when I climbed on the croc I heard a massive rip. Oh crap I had split my trousers from one end of the crouch to the other, baring all to the world! I was mortified but more because I had ripped my favourite item of clothing and not the fact I was mooning my bum to the world. We have to go and buy something from the gift shop to wear. Luckily there was a roxy shop and after a while trying on stuff I found a dress I liked in the sale. Not very suitable for a theme park but it was the only thing I liked and could justify spending the money on. 

I was in a mood for the rest of the day just sulking like a kid because my beautiful trousers had broke and I was in a dress at a themepark. 

The Australian version of big brother was based at DreamWorld and you could walk around the big brother house and meet 3 of the "stars". We walked around and then skipped the bit where you could get a photo with the stars which got us some odd looks from some teenage girls and then a group of girls overheard me say "it's weird when you have no idea who these people are" and the look on their faces was like I'd never heard of Jesus. They were horrified. So horrified they obviously didn't hear my English accent and realise I wasn't from

Australia. Couple hours later I was watching Callum and the two girls on a ride while I held the bags and I found myself stood next to this chick from the big brother house and she looked at me as if to say "why are you not asking for my autograph or a photo". It was a good day but I've learnt to never straddle a large reptile ever again, fake or real. 

Boogie boarding and dinosaur jellyfish 

A few times we used the hostels boogie boards to take down the beach which was great fun considering the waves were pretty big! You either got battered by the waves or you caught a wave that took you all the way into shore. We were going to rent out surf boards but they were miles up the beach from where we were and really expensive. We will defo rent them out some day when we go back on days off. 

Despite the typical Aussie beach fears of sharks and probably some sort of sting or deadly bite from anything living in the ocean, there were hundreds of these massive blue jellyfish that you'd see washed up all along the beach. They're not deadly though, if you are unlucky enough to get stung like Callum was, it just hurts for about an hour and gives you a red mark for the day and then it's gone. But after he got stung I was very weary and everytime I saw one I'd run out the sea like I'd seen a great white. 

Familiar faces.. 

It's a small world out there right? You hear crazy stories of people somewhere around the world and they bump into old friends in the oddest places. Well, I guess I knew john was in surfers but it was still awesome seeing him over this side of the world. We met up and went for dinners out and drinks and we met his lovely friends and house mates. It was so nice to see a friendly face from Bognor of all places in this awesome beach town. 

(Me and john) 

I'd definitely recommend visiting Surfers Paradise and staying in Surfers Paradise Backpackers Resort for a cheap, chilled vibe for a hostel. 

Body Hang-Up Blues

Body hang-ups are a total bitch right? 

We all get them, guys, girls, parents, grandparents and even children. 

For as long as I can remember I have had some sort of issue with my body, and that's a long time. I'm 22 now and I remember I was around 9 when I first started becoming insecure about my body.

I was in year 5 and we were doing a topic in school on the body and I remember we had to weigh ourselves Infront of everyone in the class. The other girls in my class were tiny, and I knew I was bigger than them but it started to get in my head when I stepped on the scales and saw I was about 7.5 stone and all the other girls in my class were lighter than me. 

My dad always told me as a kid that I had his genes and that I was never going to be little and I was going to be big and strong like he was ( baring in mind he was an 18st ex England rugby prop) and from a kid I thought I was destined to be "big". I remember when I was about 11/12 and it was summer and I was at my dad's and we were about to go out on his boat fishing, it was a hot day and I remember as I got dressed that day that I didn't want to put my shorts on as I thought my legs were too big so I wore jeans. Growing up I was quite chunky (size 12 at the age of 12) and I soon lost the "puppy fat" when I was about 13. 

I wasn't very confident growing up as for a while when I was young I wore an eyepatch and up until I was about 12 I wore glasses. I used to get called four eyes and thunder thighs at times but nothing major just kids teasing, but every name stuck in my head. 

I'm 22 now and since leaving school I have noticed an increased feeling of body insecurities eventhough my body hasn't really changed much since I left school. 

I usually wear a size 10 on top (sometimes a 12) because I do have quite a small waist and my boobs haven't grown since I was about 13 and a size 14 on my bottom half because of my bum and my chunky legs. I've always been quite small with a relatively flat-ish tummy from years of horse riding but big legs and bum, again from riding. Buying a fitted dress is a nightmare for me, it's either baggy on my boobs and waist or I can't squeeze my bum and legs into it. 

I'm forever comparing myself to pretty much every single female in the street and it's exhausting on my self esteem, especially here in Australia where everyone is slim and tanned and wearing next to nothing. A lot of my clothes are black mainly because black is meant to be slimming and I get weary or wearing a lot of colour. I struggle wearing vests and shorts (which wearing both together has been a big step for me here)  because I hate my legs and i think my arms are big. It almost feels as if it is the main thing that is in my head ruling my little world and it shouldn't be that way and it really upsets me. 

It's sad but the only times I remember feeling almost a little body confident is when I've been through a break up and not been eating properly or when I was really unwell in hospital last year when I couldn't eat properly for a short while.

An example of this feeling was something that happened today.. 

I was at a theme park with my boyfriend and i decided to sit as straddle a crocodile (a fake one don't worry!) for a photo and ended up splitting my hippy trousers I had on. So I went to a shop there that sold some roxy clothes and everything was either shorts or dresses. I finally found a dress I liked (again black) although I didn't really like what I looked in it but it was in the sale so I wore it the rest of the day and it totally ruined my day because I was so hung up on how I looked in this dress no matter what my friend or boyfriend said about how nice it looked. I ended up crying in the changing  room on my boyfriend because I hated what I saw and my mood for the rest of the day was altered. Which I know deep down is stupid and I hate that I say how curves are better and how you should love your body and I never take my own bloody advice. 

Working out feels good but there's always that insecure feeling that what if I look too big to work out or if people will laugh if they see me running out and about. 

Even writing this I know it sounds a bit ridiculous but this is what goes through my head. Despite my boyfriend telling me I'm beautiful and my body is great everyday there's always something bothering me about my body at that moment.

A lot of people who know me probably don't think I think like this because I usually come across so head strong and confident with my feathers in my hair and quirky hippy pants but here it is, all as it sounds. 

I think that I like to have feathers and braids in my hair and quirky clothes not just because I love them and I've always had a slightly unique style, but because if people see feathers in my hair and stuff, it takes the attention away from what my body looks like if that makes sense.

Writing this doesn't make me feel better about my body and the way I look in certain clothes but it's a little release and hopefully if anyone who reads I has a similar feelin towards themselves can feel a little less alone really and that we are the only ones who can change the way we feel and some days are good days and some are shitty ones. Friends tell me how nice my bum is and how I have a good figure but I never see the good in what i do have. I plan to get into a routine when we start this new job next week with starting up jogging, along side horse riding and bike riding to work and back everyday and cooking fresh healthy meals. And hopefully some day soon I'll start to feel more comfortable in my own skin and I hope that anyone out there reading this post who can empathise will be able to do the same or atleast feel a little less alone reading this post. 

:) 

(Photos are not mine by the way) 

Sydney.

Getting there..

So we set off on our mammoth journey on Thursday 20th Novemeber from Newcastle. At this point it was just about hitting home that in a matter of hours we were going to be in Australia and we were quite naive about the long ass journey ahead. My god was it long! Typical me setting the alarms off in security with my hair extentions and my ridiculous amount of jewelry. Great fun being searched in front of everyone and then there's Callum just giggling in the corner. 

We flew to London which was a baby flight compared to what was to come so we were still pretty hyper running around duty free and testing out every purfume until we smelt like insect repellent. 

The flight from London to Hong Kong was the absolute WORST. I mean, it was great service and great choice of movies and stuff but there definitely isn't enough space to try and sleep in a comfy position without having your face in the tv screen or your chin resting on your knees. We were pretty dead until they bought round the menus for breakfast. FUCKING STIR-FRY (which is my all time favourite thing in the world to eat) and it was 4am which made it even better. 

Hong Kong airport. What an interesting place. Evenmore interesting when you haven't slept in about 25 hours. It took us about two hours walking around in circles just to find a bottle of coke and you could tell the security and airport staff were looking at us and thinking "bloody useless tourists". 

The flight from Hong Kong to Sydney was another ball ache but we were so tired and our bums were still so numb from the last flight it seemed to go fairly quickly. 

We arrived in Sydney dead, smelly and really bloody hot. We got off the plane and the first Australian I came across was a very large, butch lady that snapped at me because my passport was shit basically. Great first impressions. 

Anyway, we hit Australia. TOUCHDOWN! 

Hostel life.

Hostels are great fun aren't they? 

You meet loads of weird and wonderful travelling a from all over the world. And if you're lucky you'll get some nice people to share your room with. If you're not you'll get some weirdos. We shared with a couple of French girls and one was really nice and the other was a total douche. And not a shower, showers are quite pleasant and keep themselves to themselves which this lass didn't. 

You tax your bed in hostels by sprawling all your shit all over the bed which everyone then knows that bed is taken. Simple right? Oh no, not this turd. I even said to her that i had the bunk underneath her but she persisted with sprawling her crap all over it. Yes I shared Callum's bed but it was still my bed with our stuff all over it. 

Other than some of the roomies the hostel was actually really snazzy with vintage chairs and sofas to chill on in the lobby and a bar next door that turned from restaurant to nightclub depending on what day it was. 

A couple days into our Sydney stay a couple of friends of ours arrived which was nice to have people we knew there, and then a couple more days our good friend Cat turned up. There was a little group of us which made going out for dinner and hanging out in the city pretty damn cool. It was Base hostel, totally recommend staying in a base hostel if you travel Australia. 

Big city life..

For a city, Sydney was pretty chilled. It had a nice atmosphere especially down at Darling Harbour. Every Saturday night they do a massive fireworks display over the water and it's probably the best display I've seen. 

We also had THE best steak ever in a restaurant called magarittaville. Heinz ketchup here is not good so always get BBQ sauce it's amazing. 

The traffic is a bit mental, everyone drives like they're in a car chase in some movie. Bit scary when you cross the road in a world of our own like I do 98.5% of the time. 

Everywhere is china town. Literally every two or three shops there is a Chinese restaurant or take away which was amazing because Asian food is my favourite but when trying to find an Indian one, you got no chance. 

But for a City Sydney is really nice, the botanic gardens are a must go and darling harbour and the Chinese Garden Of Friendship if you ever venture out to sydney. 

Bondi.. 

One of our days we went to the famous Bondi beach but typically this was the only day the weather was shit and I actually had 3 layers on. We also had our first ever taste of the famous backpackers drink, goon. 

Goon is basically a load of shitty cheap wine in a box that is made with fish eggs and shit but it's so cheap and isn't that bad if it's cold and mixed with something. But it's so cheap all the travellers drink it over here, I've heard the hangovers are pretty narley. 

We went paddling in the sea but it was pretty cold for me to go in but Callum and the two friends we were with braved it. A couple days before we went to bondi they had shut the beach off because apparenlty a great white shark got around the nets and into the area people would swim in. Pretty scary! The worst you'll come across on Bognor beach is a tesco shopping trolley or a syringe needle. We got it pretty easy I guess.

Things you'll only understand if you live and work on an outdoor centre..

Like myself, if you have ever worked or lived on an outdoor activity centre, you would agree that there are some odd little things that are totally normal for folk like us, but totally barmy to the big wide world outside the bubble...

Weather

When we look out the window and see that the heavens have opened up you try and see how many waterproof layers you can fit under your uniform. Even if we cram about 4 jackets of our own clothes underneath a tiny little tshirt that it part of our uniform.

Uniform Colour

If your uniform is pretty much one solid colour and every single item from rash vest to wooly hat is that colour, you refuse to purchase or wear anything of the same.

When you visit home for the first time in a loooong time

Most people probably think we'll be mega busy catching up with friends and family and going on days out when really we are just cooped up eating our body weight in cheese and eggs, sat in the bath for hours at a time, four times a day or watching endless amounts of reality tv or Jeremy Kyle with their pet snake. Atleast, I do anyway. 

The Bubble

When we are living on site we are living in what we call a bubble. Something like on The Simpsons Movie where you have to burst out of when you drive off centre for your 17th time to the spa that day. 

 

How many ways can you describe a chicken nugget

Whether the menu for that day says chicken nugget, chicken goujon, chicken chunks, breaded chicken chunks, chicken squares, battered chicken chunks, chicken esaclopes ; lets face it, you're bloody over the moon.

Pay day takeaways

That beautiful day of the month. The 7th. What a glorious day when every single person ventures off centre and buys every single possible takeaway and then after that buys the whole contents of Tescos and Spa and then tops it off with a cheese burger from maccies.
The other 29 odd days of the month we're living the high life on Tesco Value noodle pots, or the canteen. 

How to act around kids out in the real world

When we do actually venture off site and have a day out somewhere in civilisation on a day off we have to remember that when we see a child playing with a football, or running around, it is not ok to just join in or start chatting to them like we would at work. You get a lot of strange looks from their parents and other members of the public.
(But teaching taxi drivers repeat after me songs on nights out is still OK)

Strange wifi spots

When you see someone sat behind a tree in the dark or standing dead still in the middle of the road or perched up by a bin, they're not mentally ill they're just trying to get to wifi. 

Thin walls

Oh my lordy do not get me started on thin walls. You could hear a fly fart from 4 doors down. Having a soundtrack to every movie you watch can be quite amusing unless its something like old school classics when you're trying to be serious watching a dark and scary movie. And I'm sure you can imagine other odd sounds you can hear through the walls which can be amusing if you dont turn your music up. I'm not sure why it was a good idea to build the bedroom part of the room directly next to someone elses loo but lets face it, everyone can hear whats going on in there, theres nothing left for the imagination. Ew.

Days off on Sundays

Its a heartbreaking moment when you see on the rota that your day off is on a Sunday. By the time you drag yourself out of bed, shower and get to town you have approximately 4 minutes to shop til you drop.

Hidden treasure in BA's

You're on a water session, its freezing cold and the rain is pouring and you're head to toe is everything remotely waterproof that you can find. You tuck your hands in your BA to warm them up and BAM someone has left some goodies in there. Whether its a sweet, half eaten bar of Tesco Value choccy or even a paperclip you know your day has just got a little better.





Enjoy, Laurie.

 

 

Living With Grief

 A glance at the past

Eight years ago today I lost someone who was meant to be there a lot longer than he was.
I was 14, that odd age when you think you've got the whole world sorted and when you think you know everything you need to know, when really you have no idea whats about to happen to you.
I lost my dad through illness that first started out from alcohol abuse. A strange subject that left a lot of strange weird feelings after he died. Feelings that I wasn't worth sticking around for, that I wasn't as important as a habbit was. But you don't understand things like that when you're a kid.
Me and my Dad were really close when I was young, he totally doted on me as a kid and we did so much together, holidays, days out, skiing, boating. We were like the pictures you see on fathers day cards. I had no idea that some day soon I'd loose this person that litterally thought the world of me.
I'm not going to go into too much detail but things soon got dark with new relationships on his side that was close to ruining this relationship that we once had. I was at that difficult age where I wanted to hang out with friends rather than go to my dads for the weekend but this was a lot more than that and In the end I ended up not speaking to him or seeing him for about 4 months or so before he died.

Mum got a phone call one day to come straight away to the hospital and that it was urgent. I remember her running across my school playground (I say running, she was in her work heels so it was more of a weird hobble and scuff) shouting my name and telling me we had to go. I was so embaressed infront of all my friends as it was at break time. She told me in the school office that it was Dad and we had to go quickly. Anyway when we got there he had already been sedated so he wasn't awake or anything, but apparently the last thing to go is your hearing and the doctors said that he should be able to hear me. It was so strange to see him with tubes all over his face and body and all these machines beeping so loud, to me it was deafening. I had no idea what was going on or what was wrong with him all I knew was it was something to do with alcohol and his liver not working. But I sat next to him, kinda freaked out because this was me dad, and he wasnt right. I didn't really know what to do or say so I just stared talking to him about school and what I had been doing in outdoor ed classes and telling him about this school trip to Africa and how I wanted to go travelling.

The next day was the same, but on the way to the hospital, mum had told me that today would probably be the last day for my dad and to hear that was very numbing. I don't think it ever did sink in after hearing that, even eight years on. At 2:22pm he slipped away holding my hand. The whole time I was in autopilot, didn't really cry much just starred. I got a chance to sit with him after it all happened behind the curtin with a nurse waiting outside. Its a very surreal thing, watching someone die, let alone someone so close to you and someone whos meant to be there to look after you. I said goodbyes to my family on my dads side that was there and went home. I was in a weird place for a good couple of weeks after it all happened. I had no time off school and didn't do anything different just carried on. I remember in french on the monday after it happend on the friday and my french teacher went around the class what everyone had got up to on the weekend. She got to me and I said that I had watched my dad die and everyone was horrified. I was totally normal about it which I think freaked everyone out a little bit.

Few weeks went passed and it started to hit home. I started getting upset and all the feeling came out in all different ways which was normal I guess. I rebelled  by dying my hair blue and wearing all sorts of vile clothes, and I mean horrible, bright green skinnies with one converse and one vans slip-on, four studded belts, bandanas and all sorts. ofcourse I thought I was cool. And it went on from there really. I was involved with an amazing charity called Winstons Wish who help bereaved children and teenagers. I met some great friends that I still talk to now and then and keep in touch with. Its amazing how something so simple as knowing someone else that has been through the same thing as a kid could have such a positive impact on how to deal with these odd feelings.


Loosing someone young is a difficult thing as it is when you're older aswell, but loosing a parent when you still need them is a hard thing to live with. You go through so many weird emotions, even years on. You get angry, sad, lonely, jealous of other families and your friends with their families, but you learn to live with it. I always say you never get over it, you just learn to live with it and you do. It forced me to grow up and for the better. Its also made me very weary of drinking which has done wonders im sure for my liver and bank account. Grief is a sad thing but its also has a positive effect on my relationship with my mum and sister. We now have all lost our dads (me and my sister have different dads) and their have all passed in sudden surcumstances which has brought us together as such a strong unit. This may all sound very sad and gloomy but its made me how I am. Its made my little family how we are and we wouldn't change it for the world.

Family is a really special thing, and life is very fragile.
Appriciate everything and everyone and do only what makes you happy :)



Laurie

Five expectations of Australia

These are just a few snipets of expectations that pop into my head when someone asks me what do I expect Australia to be like when we pack our rucksack and head there for hopefully a couple of years in just 13 days time..

1) HOT, HOT, HOT!

 Its going to be hot. That I know. Apparently the hottest summer recorded in the last 25 years! I'm one of those people who are freakishly cold all the time. I rekon I wore shorts maybe twice this summer and thats not just because my pins are so white they pretty much reflect any sun rays that hit their surface. I'm not a huge fan of wearing vests and shorts anyway which has come in my favour living in England which is pretty much the Artic for me. As soon as the sun even makes a glimpse in the skies over Britain the whole population are wacking out their bodies and the factor 50 even if the temperature just about reaches 14 degrees. 

2) Deadly, bitey, stingy critters

I've heard that Australia has I think 7 of the top 10 deadliest spiders, 5 out of the top 10 deadliest snakes, the most poisonous jellyfish and odd fish that like to disguise themselves as rocks which apparently also try and kill you. Not to mention the salt water crocodile and the great white shark. I've been warned about little buggers underneath toilet seats and hiding in your boots ready to strike so you have to check the loo seat everytime before you spring a leak and also to shake out your boots before stepping into them.
So bassically don't use toilets, don't wear anything but flip-flops, never step foot in the sea or ever venture out of an air-tight room and you'll be alright. Ish. 
I think i'll be using bugspray instead of purfume on my travels.

3) Aussie hotties VS Alright-looking poms

Its known that Australia is full of drop dead gorgeous supermodels lying about on the beaches and hot surfer guys. I mean thats all you see being advertised all over the web and thats pretty much what I expect when I think what Aussies look like. When I think stereotypically about what English people look like I straight away imagine big bushy beards and farmer looking folk which is totally not true most of the time obviously. So i'll turn up in the land of OZ and go from being an average looking girl to looking like a potato.

4) BBQs for every meal

Everyone bangs on about chilling on stunning beaches with the sun going down, around a big open fire with some dude on a guitar (which sounds totally perfect to me) and all they seem to eat out there is something on a barbie. Like the saying "put a shrimp on the barbie" which according to the aussies ive met on my previous travels, they don't actually do/say. I guess its kinda like every other country thinking us Brits just sit around drinking tea all day, eating scones and talking about the royal family and which posh bird they're going to have for dinner whether it being a pheasant or a partridge. Anyway, the BBQs on the beach part sounds perfect to me so I'm totally down with that.

5) Sydneys Opera House is actually a spaceship..

Every advert about visiting Australia has a picture of Sydneys Opera House and as you may have gathered by now im not exactly Einstien but to me it looks like a futuristic spaceship. I've only just found out writing this post by my boyfriend that it is actually used for what it says in its name (funnily ennough) which is for people to sing opera in. You'd think the name would give it away to me really but I was totally convinced it was just some big piece of art with a fancy name. Like the London Eye having a name that isn't actually what its called which is a massive eyeball. Although that would be pretty memorable and also pretty awesome.




Adios. Laurie.

Home is only a feeling

Home is only a feeling

One of my favourite lyrical lines is by a band called Stornoway (amazing band, check them out) and it goes "Home is only a feeling you get in your mind, from the people you love and travel beside."

Home doesnt have to be the house you grew up in, the town you lived in. For me, I feel that home is a state of mind. My childhood house with my family will always be classed as a home or somwhere I would call home as a kid but these days, I feel like I left home when I got on that plane back to England a few years ago, and I feel like I only really found home for me when I was 17, my 2010 summer in a safari paradise.

Here is why my home is a feeling..

I never really felt at home untill I visited South Africa for the first time when I was 17 back in 2010 where I did a project through a company called The Leap. I lived on a game reserve just outside of Melalane in Mpumalanga called Kwa Madwala, not far from the Kruger Naional Park.
It was an incredible place and had 4 of the big 5 African animals living freely inside their reserve. I was lucky enough to wake up each morning to Hippos wallowing in the dam in our front garden, the sound of the wild elephant heard moving through the bush, crushing small trees in their path. It was so full of life and at night the place came to life with the crickets song that echoed over the reserve. The smell of the blood red mud underneath my feet being heated up in the sun.
I was heartbroken when I had to leave and I swore that I would never let it leave my heart and I never did. I found myself going back out there when I tunred 19 to go and work with a friend I met at the game reserve, working with her and her horses, getting them ready for being trail horses where we could take guests out on safari on horse back. It was an incredible experience to mix my love for working with horses and in Africa. I was in heaven for a short while. I went out to South Africa again the next Febuary for a few months and I really felt at home when I made a great circle of friends but then there was some issues where I was working so I ending up making my own way to the Game Reserve where I did my first project. I had the pleasure of working with some amazing people, I was involved in minor Lion operations, working with the two tame elephants and taking trails all over the reserve on their 17 beautiful horses. I had the interesting experience of rounding up a fully grown white rhino whilst on horse back one day and also had a run in with 3 fully grown lions. THAT is definately an experience I will be sharing with my future children and granchildren.

Since leaving South Africa the last time, there's always been a hole inside where something is missing. I hope that one day (If I dont find my place in Australia) that I end  up back in my safari paradise.

Where's your "home"?



Laurie.


 

Who is featherhead?

Laurie..

I'm 22, a girl (i'd hope that bit was obvious but my name is also a guys name too), Currently an Outdoor Activity Instructor. I am a complete example of a Leo (passionate, drama queen, edgy, stubborn, WILD, crazy), OBSESSED with Africa. I'm terrified of the dark, like its ridiculous. I could eat corn on the cob everyday for a year and still love it and Im known for wearing feathers in my locks, hense the name.

I also have a little snake at home called Captain Tarquinious, Tarquin for short. I'm pathetically overly maternal over him considering hes a snake but hes my little dude. I would love to have him here with me but hes a little venemous and its a good job my mums a reptile freak so she has him when I'm not at home. If only he could come to Australia with me.


I'm from a small (apparently sunny) seaside town called Bognor Regis which everyone knows for the famous Butlins which is the only reason anyone has ever heard of Bognor. Its a cute little town full of old people whizzing along the prom on their scooters and scarily sized seagulls that shouldve been filmed in 'Walking With Dinosaurs'. It was a cute place to grow up. I share my little quirky home with my crazy, young hearted mum, whos more like a best friend and my home-bird 17 year old younger sister who is the complete opposite to me. I think our only simularity is having odd-ish names.

I now work on an activities centre further up the country in Shropshire. I like to say "up north" but apparenty its not classed as up north but when you're from somewhere like Bognor, anything above the South Downs is north to us sourthern jessies.
I teach cool things like kayaking, canoeing, abseiling, climbing, quad biking, archery and all that jazz to children and teenagers. It's my third season and its been a fun few years. I did  some work in South Africa over the past few years where I used to work with horses taking people on horse back safaris, trying not to get eaten and liveed and worked on a few game reserves in the heart of the African bush. It was pretty bloody amazing, despite being charged at by rhino, hippo and having a run in with three lions (but we'll talk about that another time).
 I also did a summer working in the USA on a summer camp teaching horse riding, archery, being a head highropes instructor and doing survival and tracking sessions in the woods where we would come across the odd black bear here and there.

I have a bloody awesome boyfriend, Callum who puts up with all my crazy girlie crap and is my complete best friend. We both live and work together and he's become my right arm. He's the ying to my yang, different but put together and we just click. We are both escaping this cornor of the world for Australia on Novemeber 20th which is INSANE. Simply cannot wait!


I've decided to write a blog about the everyday things that pop into my little head, you know, the type of crap any young girl trying to find her place in the world would want to read about. Also I will be sharing my great Aussie adventure on here too.

Ciao. Laurie.