Weather
When we look out the window and see that the heavens have opened up you try and see how many waterproof layers you can fit under your uniform. Even if we cram about 4 jackets of our own clothes underneath a tiny little tshirt that it part of our uniform.Uniform Colour
If your uniform is pretty much one solid colour and every single item from rash vest to wooly hat is that colour, you refuse to purchase or wear anything of the same.When you visit home for the first time in a loooong time
Most people probably think we'll be mega busy catching up with friends and family and going on days out when really we are just cooped up eating our body weight in cheese and eggs, sat in the bath for hours at a time, four times a day or watching endless amounts of reality tv or Jeremy Kyle with their pet snake. Atleast, I do anyway.The Bubble
When we are living on site we are living in what we call a bubble. Something like on The Simpsons Movie where you have to burst out of when you drive off centre for your 17th time to the spa that day.How many ways can you describe a chicken nugget
Whether the menu for that day says chicken nugget, chicken goujon, chicken chunks, breaded chicken chunks, chicken squares, battered chicken chunks, chicken esaclopes ; lets face it, you're bloody over the moon.Pay day takeaways
That beautiful day of the month. The 7th. What a glorious day when every single person ventures off centre and buys every single possible takeaway and then after that buys the whole contents of Tescos and Spa and then tops it off with a cheese burger from maccies.The other 29 odd days of the month we're living the high life on Tesco Value noodle pots, or the canteen.
How to act around kids out in the real world
When we do actually venture off site and have a day out somewhere in civilisation on a day off we have to remember that when we see a child playing with a football, or running around, it is not ok to just join in or start chatting to them like we would at work. You get a lot of strange looks from their parents and other members of the public.(But teaching taxi drivers repeat after me songs on nights out is still OK)
Strange wifi spots
When you see someone sat behind a tree in the dark or standing dead still in the middle of the road or perched up by a bin, they're not mentally ill they're just trying to get to wifi.Thin walls
Oh my lordy do not get me started on thin walls. You could hear a fly fart from 4 doors down. Having a soundtrack to every movie you watch can be quite amusing unless its something like old school classics when you're trying to be serious watching a dark and scary movie. And I'm sure you can imagine other odd sounds you can hear through the walls which can be amusing if you dont turn your music up. I'm not sure why it was a good idea to build the bedroom part of the room directly next to someone elses loo but lets face it, everyone can hear whats going on in there, theres nothing left for the imagination. Ew.Days off on Sundays
Its a heartbreaking moment when you see on the rota that your day off is on a Sunday. By the time you drag yourself out of bed, shower and get to town you have approximately 4 minutes to shop til you drop.Hidden treasure in BA's
You're on a water session, its freezing cold and the rain is pouring and you're head to toe is everything remotely waterproof that you can find. You tuck your hands in your BA to warm them up and BAM someone has left some goodies in there. Whether its a sweet, half eaten bar of Tesco Value choccy or even a paperclip you know your day has just got a little better.Enjoy, Laurie.
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