But it really isn't. You think its something that comes naturally to us as humans to think about our self before anyone else but really we find it extremely difficult.
We go about life trying to please every single person around us that we forget to please ourselves and we lose ourselves for a minute.
Its really hard being selfish, its not like you should be selfish all the time but when it comes down to your own well being and happiness then its vital that you put yourself first.
If you're not in love with yourself first then how are you ever going to love someone to the extent that you need?
Think about that for a second.. I don't mean being so wrapped up in yourself that you become a self centred twat. I mean the small things like just waking up and thinking to yourself " Yeah, I like who I am today". Something so simple can be such an impossible task for most people and how bloody sad is that.
I'm not going to say that I find it easy to find the things I love about myself, I find it hard I really do. For years I've struggled liking myself on the outside which sadly, what young adult hasn't felt negative about the way they look physically? Which on its own is a shitty thing isn't it.
I've mostly quite liked the person I am inside, I mean there's things I could massively improve on of course but then who doesn't have flaws. We are constantly growing and forming into something new everyday, we see and hear and feel things that change us as people in every breathing minute.
Something that felt right yesterday might not feel right today, something that you hated months ago might bring you so much life today. Something that broke you inside might make you feel empowered and brave. Something you deal with on a daily basis might beat you down and down but as soon as you feel a sudden sense of strength you heal again.
The word 'selfish' is always perceived as a negative thing. I don't think being selfish in this sense is negative at all. How can you expect to be happy with your life if you're not even happy within yourself.
If something isn't sitting right in your head, chances are it isn't right. Chances are that you need to listen to those little niggly thoughts that pop up or the alarm bells that deafen you at night time and do something about it.
If you hate your job, leave it. If you're not in love, leave it. If you've been eyeing up a destination to explore then go there. And most importantly if you've been eyeing up that top in the shop window then bloody well treat yourself.
Practicing self love can feel really silly at the start, if its something you're not used to doing. I mean if someone told you to stand butt naked in front of a full length mirror and said to say out loud to yourself what you loved about your body, you'd probably feel slightly awkward right?
But it doesn't have to be awkward like that, you can just lay there in bed for a moment just before you get yourself up and just think to yourself something positive about the person you are. It sounds so cringe but I think its massively important.
Even though I've not been feeling the most positive over the last couple of weeks, I have been looking at myself in the huge scary full length mirror before I have my daily lush bath and pointing out things on my body that I like. And as a girl, a young woman that used to be afraid to look in the mirror, I think that's a huge thing for me, personally.
We go about our lives not just as one person but as several. You're not just you. You're a son, daughter, mother, father, auntie, friend, lover, ex, employee, carer, advisor.
You are SO many people in one single body. But as you play all these roles to the people around you, do you ever think to yourself... "Where am I in all of this"
I think you can get so caught up in playing the roles that you've adopted within your lives that you forget that single most important thing, which is you.
Life likes to throw spanners in the works, sometimes if you're really lucky you get the odd sledgehammer thrown your way too.
And even if it feels like the world is doing its absolute best at testing the waters, testing your patience and your emotional stamina, just don't forget that you are amazing in your own individual way. You make people smile, you make people feel good by just being you.
Give yourself a break if you're feeling like you've lost your way a little, it's ok to give yourself time every once in a while.
Because you're doing just fine.
Passenger - The Long Road. A song for a traveller.
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